Femininity starts in the mind. It’s what you read, what you listen to, what you think, how you respond and who you surround yourself with. These qualities determine your mindset. As a feminine woman, your ultimate goal should be to protect your mindset by any means necessary. When evolving into a high-value woman, the sad reality is that some may not be ready to evolve or grow with you. The even sadder part is it could very well be your closest friends. 

Friendships are like any other relationship. You develop girlfriends on the basis of compatability, interests, morals, values and the list goes on. Yes, you do not have the exact same views however, when your views are drastically different, sadly things can change. Ladies, we are a product of the company we keep, choices and also decisions we make. If you find that your current girlfriends are bringing you away from the woman you’re growing to become and your priorities in life, it may be time to ask yourself, “Am I outgrowing my friend?”

“I love my husband, but it is nothing like a conversation with a woman that understands you. I grow so much from those conversations.”

Beyonce

The evolution of womanhood can cause you to want more out of your friends. Your old girlfriends may only understand the OLD you. You’re evolving, hence being a part of this community. You have the right to evolve and change in life. Change is necessary especially during transitions like school (high school/college), being a lady in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, getting engaged, married, starting a family, beginning a new career or simply moving to a new city or country.  

The bottom line is, you shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling like you’re outgrowing a friendship that you once felt was meant to last a lifetime. If your surrounding friends don’t represent the woman you want to become, it is okay to move in a different direction or change the narrative. No one is to blame. No one is wrong for this. It’s actually healthy. It shows that you aren’t stagnant or content. 

Here are 5 Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Friend

  1. You have conflicting priorities. They love gossiping about negative reality shows, talking about how they got drunk on the weekends at the club, or itching to go to a party that is played out without substance, but you’d rather spend time focusing on improving yourself, joining a book club or finding creative ways to enrich your mind or surroundings. Time is of the essence and you find every conversation a waste or against your core values. 
  2. They don’t organically support or understand your ideas, plans,  goals or values. One of the most important reasons why we have girlfriends is because of support. If you don’t share interest in each other and feel you’re just listening to “be a friend” it may be a sign you’re outgrowing one another. Adult friendships have to be equally yoked in some ways. If they simply don’t understand important things you value, why and how are you friends?
  3. Your conversations are merely to reminisce and are dead silent at times. You went from having a lot to say to nothing at all. The friendship is starting to feel forced and awkward. If you’re struggling to find things to talk about it may be a sign that the friendship is hitting a deadend. It’s nice to reminisce every now and then however, if that’s the majority of what your conversation is about then you’re probably no longer evolving together. 
  4. You’re simply incompatible. You once bonded over things that you currently don’t care to bond over. She connects with people you wouldn’t associate with and participate in activities that you aren’t cool or comfortable with. This can cause you to naturally separate. Compatibility brings friendships together. You can be a physical friend but it may be difficult to understand that your friendship is slowly fading. 
  5. You don’t feel like yourself when you are with her. You constantly feel you like you can’t share how you truly feel or act like yourself in fear of making her feel uncomfortable. If surrounding yourself with her is negatively bringing you away from your true self, then it’s a sign to let go. 

Ladies, I know it’s tough when on the journey of womanhood but we have to protect our surroundings. If any of those 5 signs rang a bell, it’s time to evaluate your friendships. Your girlfriend may very well be a great person. Just because you’re drifting apart, doesn’t mean anyone did anything wrong. There’s no need to apologize because this is natural. Simply mentally acknowledge it and move forward. 

If you need tips on this, be sure to comment below or schedule a coaching session. Join our sisterhood community HERE

So, what about you? Have you experienced this? If so, what have you learned about yourself during this discovery? Share your story in the comments below.

Author

Lover of all things feminine! Founder & CEO of Lady University

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